AUGUST 2018

“I love everything about you, Bre Williams,” Wilds Drake says to me as we’re standing beside a river at our campsite in the Gravelly Range, Montana. “I love you too, Wilds Drake… so much.” We had flown out of our home states of Florida and South Carolina, meeting up in Chicago, IL to finish our journey to Bozeman, MT. We spent five days and four nights road tripping, fly fishing and camping across southwestern Montana. We knew we’d come back year after year.

THANKSGIVING 2018

“I want to marry you,” Wilds Drake says to me at his family’s farmhouse in rural South Carolina, in a moment of privacy upstairs away from the house full of family and friends. “I want to marry you, Wilds Drake,” I reply with a kiss and squeezing hug.

At this point in time, I still owned and was living in a home in central Florida. I still worked for the same company I had been with for the past six years. So, there were some boxes to check before we were able to start planning a wedding of any sort.

MAY/JUNE 2019

We knew we were going to elope. We knew we were going to elope in Montana. There was a lot of discussion, and back & forth over whether or not we’d invite family and friends. The ultimate decision was between all or nothing – we chose nothing. No guests. Just us, our dogs, an officiant and a photographer. We are big fans of simple and NOT being the center of attention. If your friends and family truly love you, they will understand and be overjoyed that you did things your way (and they will be secretly grateful for the lack of wedding obligations). A marriage, after all, is about the relationship between two people. It’s natural to be worried about how friends and family will feel, but don’t let it interfere with what you truly want (this was tough for me to accept). Based on this decision, we decided that the elopement would be a secret and that we would not tell anyone until we were married.

JULY 2019

I am now living in South Carolina full time – no more driving 6 hours every other weekend to see each other. The company I was working for basically paid me to quit – sending me out the door with a hefty severance package. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I am a firm believer in signs, and every sign was pushing and pulling me towards Wilds Drake. It has been this way since the beginning for he and I.

We were planning our next trip to Montana. This time, we were driving our own truck and bringing our dogs along. Wilds bought us a rooftop tent (Tepui Tents - they’re awesome), and spent hours engineering a spacious “backseat” for our two goldens and a badass camp kitchen/storage system in the truck bed beneath the camper. (side note: one of his many love languages is making things with his hands. I adore that.) Wilds is a boat builder. He had a very busy schedule leading up to our departure, so the precise dates of our trip were unknown. This made elopement scheduling a little tricky, but we needed to start making moves.

If you’re here reading this, there’s a chance you’re at this point right now - the “where the hell do I even begin?” point in planning your elopement. I’ve tried to informally map out just how we pulled off our elopement adventure below - enjoy!!

ELOPEMENT PLANNING GROUND ZERO: Choose your “time of year” + General location

Montana was our spot. Most photographers & officiants (the individual that performs your ceremony and certifies your marriage certificate – to be discussed in more detail later) serve a broad, general area and will travel for an extra fee when needed. Once you know the general “where,” you can narrow down the rest of your searches (photographer, officiant, lodging, etc.) Time of year is also important due to natural occurrences (wildfires, snowstorms, etc.) that prevent use of certain areas.

ELOPEMENT PLANNING STEP 1: GUESTS? FLOWERS? HAIR? MAKEUP? FOOD?

As you read above, we went with no guests. It was a personal choice that conveniently alleviated us of the extra choices, planning, cost, and complication associated with guests. We wanted simplicity. We wanted our marriage to just be a small blip on our two-and-a-half-week trip. We wanted to get married and continue on with our adventure without worrying about coordinating plans with anyone else, and we certainly didn’t want to put pressure on our loved ones to fly across the country. We did not buy any flowers or decorations. The natural beauty of the Montana landscape was more than enough. We packed snacks and wine (we were an hour and a half out of civilization and phone service, so that was a must). I did my own hair and makeup, not much different than I would have on any normal day. It was important to me to look natural and like myself – aside from the fancy dress. If you need recommendations on food, seating, flowers, professional hair & makeup, etc. you will need to research elsewhere. I’ll mention this again shortly, but it fits here as well – your photographer is a wealth of knowledge for your area. Ask them for recommendations and suggestions.

ELOPEMENT PLANNING STEP 2: Choose your photographer.

I spent a good couple of weeks searching for a photographer. There are many talented photographers serving Montana, but I was looking for something very specific – I wanted an excellent storyteller that incorporated stunning natural light into his work. I had to search back a couple Google pages to finally come across his website, but I knew instantly that David Clumpner was the man for the job. I emailed him right away crossing my fingers that he was available and would have some flexibility around the time we would be in Montana. To my surprise, he was available! I say that the photographer is the best place to start (after having a general idea of your location) because you can rely pretty heavily on them for the other details to be discussed later (specific location, officiant, etc). David’s website linked here. You can follow him on Facebook (David Clumpner Photography) and Instagram (@davidclumpner).

ELOPEMENT PLANNING STEP 3: Wardrobe + Rings

When Wilds asked me what he should wear, I simply told him to wear something that he felt comfortable in and would wear again. He is a godsend - within a week he had his shirt (Levi’s), pants (Patagonia), and boots (Tecovas). Too easy. I, on the other hand, had a tough task ahead of me. I spent many hours over a couple of weeks scouring the internet for the perfect dress. I did not want to spend a small fortune on a dress I would only wear one time. I also have expensive taste, so I decided to buy a used dress. Stillwhite.com was the answer to my prayers. I would say that I started with Pinterest and Instagram to determine which styles and brands were most appealing to me, and then searched for those brands using the advanced filters on Stillwhite.com. You can filter by cut, length, style, brand, color, size, price, etc. It’s fantastic. Once I decided on the one I wanted I messaged the seller for a few more details and then offered a price slightly lower than asking. She accepted! She was located in Australia, and the shipping to Charleston, SC was surprisingly inexpensive and fast. I had my dream dress a week later, in great condition. I went with “Sadie” by Made With Love Bridal. This is now the most well-made, flattering article of clothing I’ve ever owned. Since this was a surprise, and the only other soul that knew was my husband, who obviously couldn’t see my dress before the big day, I went to a seamstress for assistance with the zip-up and an opinion on the fit. She did not see any need for alterations but did say that I should try to lose just a tad bit of weight or the dress may “go pop!” That was terrifying. Unfortunately, the tightest section of the dress was around my ribcage so there was absolutely nothing I could do but cross my fingers! The previous owner had the waist taken in to just 23.5 inches!

I spent entirely too much time trying to decide on shoes. I finally decided on Tecovas “The Penny” boot in the color Bourbon. I needed something comfortable that I could tromp through mud, cow poop, rocks and fields in, and that I would wear again. I love those boots. Boots linked here.

The hat was a great touch. It is the Lack of Color’s “Coco Rancher.” It was quite windy during our ceremony, but I was able to wear it 60% of the time. Hats aren’t for everyone, but I love the vibe it added to my look (“Bre Montana”). I wore it throughout the rest of our trip and plan to rock it more this fall. Hat linked here.

Wilds gave me rings that belonged to his great, great grandmother (I am honored to wear them – absolutely stunning and so special). He told me that he wanted a silicone ring since he works with his hands. The silicone rings are great and only $8, but I needed to get him something more thoughtful and special. For each of us to pull off our surprise rings, we just needed to get each other’s ring size. Wilds sent me into the Polly’s Jewelry for sizing (I later learned he tricked me and went right back up to the shop that afternoon to drop off the rings – slick!). I ordered a ring sizer off Amazon ($5) to later get Wilds’ ring size. I then decided to have a carbon fiber ring made for him since he builds boat using carbon fiber.

ELOPEMENT PLANNING STEP 4: Choose a more specific location

This was challenging because Montana is beautiful overall – there are SO many options. It truly is difficult to decide, but you absolutely can’t go wrong. David, our photographer, provided galleries of his past clients to show some options for location. He knew that our one little complication was our dogs. The national parks do not allow dogs off leash, so they were out of the question. After lots of discussion and back and forth, we decided on Black Butte mountain in the Gravelly Range. We knew we’d be doing some fishing in Ennis, MT so we decided to return to the Gravelly Range for our elopement. I ran Google image searches on Gravelly range to find areas that were most visually appealing to me. Last year, the wildfires prevented from visiting the area where Black Butte is located so it was just perfect. David had not shot any events there before, so he needed to scout the area the day/night before and get back to us then with the EXACT location. Fortunately, he had spent some time elk hunting in the area so that gave him an advantage.

ELOPEMENT PLANNING STEP 5: Book an Officiant

The state of Montana allows the following types of individuals to solemnize weddings: clergy, a judge, a public official with powers to solemnize marriages, a city judge, or a tribal judge. Our photographer kicked off our search with an officiant recommendation. She was a little too expensive with her additional travel costs, so we continued searching for one that was more affordable. We ended up booking Vicki Wiepking of Big Sky Country Minister. She was fantastic! I do know that one of my greatest “unknowns” was how our elopement ceremony would be structured being that there was not going to be any guests – I was wondering just how it would all go down. She did a phenomenal job of providing marriage license information, courthouse locations, ceremony drafts and revisions. She scheduled a rehearsal call for the day before our elopement. That was extremely helpful. We worked through the details and even picked out a song that would lead us in and out of the ceremony. This process was much easier than I expected. She was so patient and understanding of the fact that up until the night before, we still hadn’t decided on our exact ceremony location. She was mindful of the lack of cell service in the mountains, so simply asked that I send her the coordinates at least five hours before the ceremony since she would be getting on the road and losing cell service.

*Let’s stop here to talk about planning for our drive across the country and remembering everything we need to get married. We had a 32-hour drive ahead of us. I neatly packed my dress (in its garment bag) into my YETI Camino Carryall Tote Bag (a use for it that I never anticipated – worked well), along with the hat. My boots remained in their box. Wilds packed his ensemble away in his bag. Wrinkles were inevitable. I ordered a $20 portable garment steamer from Amazon to freshen everything up before the ceremony. I also invested in some safety pins in case my dress “went pop!” We left on Thursday, Aug 22. There was 6 days between departure and elopement day.

AUGUST 26, 2019: This wasn’t expected

On this day, we hiked the Beehive Basin trail with our dogs – 3.3mi up and 3.3mi back down. We had agreed to not get engaged. An engagement is usually the onset of pressure for setting a wedding date, planning bridal lunches, showers, and bachelorette parties – I did not want any of that. I have a hard time saying “no,” so it was better to just avoid it all together by skipping the engagement phase. No engagement also meant no proposal, and I came to terms with that.

At the top of Beehive Basin, Wilds and the dogs were standing on a steep ledge overlooking the basin. I was taking dozens of photos of them. Wilds asked for the camera so he could get some photos of me – sweet, right? I was extra leery of getting close to the edge while the dogs were in full play mode, so Wilds knew this may be the only way to get me where he wanted me. He snapped a few photos, walked towards me, got down on one knee, presented me with his great, great grandmother’s ring and asked, “will you marry me on Wednesday?” I was completely surprised and so overjoyed. I wish that I had somewhat expected it so that I could have went with a slightly better look than the “homeless little boy” comfy, hiking look I had chosen to rock that day – but it worked out fine. I love that man.

ELOPEMENT PLANNING STEP 6: Obtain your marriage license.

Thanks to our officiant, Vicki, we had a helpful list of courthouses in the region. We chose the Madison County Clerk of Court in Virginia City, MT. It is an adorable courthouse close to where we would be staying in Ennis, MT. That’s something else worth mentioning. We camped most nights of our trip, so we made sure to book an Airbnb within a couple hours’ drive of our ceremony location so that we’d be able to shower and freshen up beforehand. To obtain the license, you need to bring $53 cash and identification with proof of age (valid driver’s license, valid state ID card, birth certificate, or passport). You will need to fill out an application. The application can be printed and filled out beforehand or provided by/filled out at the courthouse. We obtained our license the day before our ceremony. It is effective upon issuance and expires after 180 days (more details linked here). The officiant fills out the bottom of the license, and then the bride, groom, and witness (David, our photographer) have to sign it before returning it to the courthouse (in person or my mail) for processing. The license is then sent via mail and can be used for the fun name changing adventure!

ELOPEMENT PLANNING STEP 7: Exact location communication.

Cell service is tricky throughout most of Montana, especially in the mountains. Communication and coordination of all parties involved is key. David spent the afternoon/evening before our elopement scouting locations and light. Late that evening, when he returned to an area with cell service, he provided us with the exact coordinates of our rendezvous spot. I immediately logged the coordinates in my phone, and provided them to our officiant, Vicki. Everyone knew exactly where they needed to be at 5pm, up in the mountains, completely out of cell service.

‘Twas the night before our big day….

I had written my vows a few days before we left while Wilds was working. I flashed mine at him the night before our wedding so he had an idea of how long his should be. He then spent a good two hours writing his in our Airbnb. It was really sweet to see him so focused. He’s the best.

August 28, 2019: Elopement Day!

As fate would have it, our good buddy Jackson (a fly fishing guide in Ennis, MT) was only available for a float trip on the day of our elopement. It was awesome to fish on the day of our wedding, but it was a bummer to have to tell Jackson we needed to be off the water early. We had to tell a white lie since he’s from South Carolina and has many mutual friends. I was adamant on making sure our family found out from us and not someone else.

The fishing was a blast – beautiful weather, lots of fish, and a great lunch with Jackson afterward. We made it back to our Airbnb around 2pm. That left just enough time for us to shower, steam our garments, apply some makeup, pack the truck, and get on the road by 3:30pm. Our meetup time was scheduled for 5pm, and although it ended up being a 1.5hr drive up into the mountain range, Wilds told me way after the fact that the GPS was reading 3hrs. Smart move – I would have been panicking! The roads are all gravel and dirt, so I suppose the 3hr estimate was assuming drivers would be traveling at an overly safe speed.

As we pulled up to our rendezvous location, there stood David and Vicki – our fabulous photographer and officiant. Early. There were quick introductions, some instruction, and we were into elopement action right away. Wilds and I immediately began changing on opposite sides of our truck – this organically evolved into a really cool “first look” situation. Vicki, the poor soul, had to be the one to do the honors of zipping up my “too tight” dress. I assured her that it would not be her fault if something went wrong and that I had safety pins on hand. The clasp at the top was fastened, and dress zipped all the way up without a hitch. Huge… no, ‘held back’ sigh of relief (I could take no chances).

After the first look, we were ushered over to the spot David had strategically chosen for the ceremony – perfectly centered in front of Black Butte – gorgeous sunlight and blue skies overhead. It was also very windy! This was not so great for my hat, but awesome from an adding life to images perspective (hair and dress blowing in the wind). Vicki successfully guided us through the ceremony. I shed so many tears. Each time I looked dead into the eyes of my calm, cool and collected husband, I just cried harder. Then came the vows - there was no escaping it. I never expected any different. Along with the beautiful engagement ring, Wilds also presented me with two gorgeous wedding bands. One of them is engraved with his great, great grandparents’ initials and wedding date – the other with ours. I loved watching and listening to him tell me about these rings (David captured a great photo of this moment). After lots of kissing and hugging, we had to get down to business signing that marriage license. David signed as a witness. Vicki took the marriage license with her, agreeing to mail it back to the courthouse for us for processing.

The sun was still high in its descent for the evening, so Wilds, David, and I enjoyed a glass of wine as we waited for the dreamy portrait lighting to start pouring over the mountain range. David had scouted out about 6 or 7 different spots along the range for photos, so that involved 6-7 instances of getting in and out of the truck in my dress that could “go pop” at any moment of stress. That first sit in the passenger seat was nerve racking, but the zipper held strong – then, and for the duration of the evening. I cannot say enough good things about that dress (thank you, Made with Love Bridal!!).

First up – photos with the dogs. We released the hounds and followed David’s instructions. Our golden retrievers are rather intense about water. Although we could see no water nearby, they found the smallest hint of a stream and doused themselves in the cold fresh water. They had the time of their lives while we tried to keep them away from my dress.

Next, we encountered the herd of sheep that David had found the night before. They were under the watchful guard of Great Pyrenees sheep dogs. The sheep dogs were far off in the distance up on a ridge when we first hopped out of the truck, but that didn’t last long. They quickly made their way towards the “threat.” I was nervous as I wasn’t sure how aggressive sheep dogs may be, and I was going to be moving at no faster than a snail’s pace in my dress. Turns out, sheep dogs are pretty friendly. It also turns out that our photographer had past experience as a sheep herder – so maybe it was his presence that let the sheep dog no we meant no harm? David captured these moments beautifully.

We walked across several more meadows, and mountain overlooks taking in glorious amounts of orange, yellow and gold from the sky. David fired up his drone for a few shots of us walking across a giant meadow. I didn’t realize just how close we had been to some cows until I saw the drone photos later.

Last, David wanted to try something new in a burn leftover from last year’s wildfires. We walked into the crispy, barren forest with just several minutes of light left in the day. It was eerily beautiful. I knew the results would be breathtaking.

Admittedly, we were nervous about being awkward in the photos. The combination of true love and a brilliant photographer, however, made us feel so comfortable just being ourselves. I think Wilds literally told me 344 times how beautiful I looked as the evening progressed. It was so raw, intimate, special and magical. It was better than we could have ever expected or imagined. I think what we love most is that everything was just how WE wanted it - our taste, our style, our speed - no outside influences. I am happy with all of our choices, and incredibly thankful that we found each other.

We spent the next few days off the grid, camping and fishing in the same areas we had last year. It was great. When we made it back into cell service on Saturday afternoon, we shared the news with our friends and family. David was kind enough to edit and send over a few images to use for our announcement!

That about wraps it up. It’s been 6 weeks since the big day. We got our photos back this past weekend. We are still waiting on our marriage license. I can’t wait for the fun tasks associated with my last name change. If you have questions, please feel free to leave them down below or shoot me an email – bre@awildhaircreative.com.

Run Away + Elope in Montana